I’m noticing a disturbing trend: Mean Girls.
They have escaped from that *ahem* classic Lindsay Lohan movie and are starting to show up in our universities. I have noticed—rather consistently—that young women in universities can be just plain bitchy to each other. For some reason, it has become unfathomable for people to be kind, supportive, polite and understanding. Instead, mean girls are trying to make others feel like crap. Consistently. And I just don’t get it.
Don’t get me wrong. I have worked with some fantastic young women. Some of the students I work with honestly awe me with their kindness, respect for others, work ethic and generosity. However, there are WAY too many people who are starting to act like mean girls. Maybe they are just REALLY passive aggressive. Maybe it’s the fact that we’re in a social society, and for some reason we feel the need to put everything we think online. (Yes, I notice the irony in that statement.) Maybe I’m just now noticing it and it’s been happening for years. Maybe it’s just the industry I’m training these young women to be in. After all, we see cut throat PR pros on TV and the movies all the time and those portrayals could skew the perception as to how our industry behaves. (FYI – In the real world PR is about RELATIONSHIPS, not being the biggest bitch.) Maybe that’s not it at all.
But it makes me wonder: Have we trained people to become mean girls or are we merely allowing it to be acceptable?
I understand that our society raises people to be the best; that there is undo pressure to always have an “A”; but somewhere along the way, treating others with respect was forgotten. Maybe I should blame helicopter moms. I’ve seen my fair share of them, and trust me, they need to chillax. By constantly pressuring kids to win, they don’t get the important lesson of learning how to lose, and how to treat others (and yourself) with respect. After years of that kind of pressure, I can understand how a person could be trained to act without regard to others.
I understand that college is a competitive place, but we’re not talking men on the gridiron here. We’re talking about young women being mean for no reason. And it isn’t just each other, it’s to female faculty & staff as well. I keep seeing young women questioning the authority of female professors and administrators, just because they can. It’s like their attitude is: “You’re a woman/ young/ blonde /a different culture/ homosexual/ fill-in-the-blank, what do you know?” They don’t care about professional experience or degrees; they just see the other women as competition. Don’t we get enough of that in our society as it is?
Women and under-represented groups have been fighting for equality for years. And the sad truth is that we may never get it… because we refuse to treat each other as equals and with respect. The sad fact is that the denigration of women is prevalent in society: the “C” word is used with startling regularity; women are called ‘bitch’ and ‘ho’ without a thought; and in some circles of society, our value is merely our beauty and sexuality. If young women continue to act like mean girls, it is just perpetuating the problem. But, it doesn’t have to be that way. WE can change it. By making simple decisions to treat others with respect, we’re fighting the good fight. By choosing our words carefully, we prevent misinterpretation and hurt feelings. We need to uplift each other, not tear each other down.
Listen, I get that your parents think you hung the moon. But guess what, you aren’t the best or the brightest. Because no matter how hard you try, there is ALWAYS going to be someone smarter and more talented than you. Harsh? Maybe. Blunt? Probably. But it’s the truth. How you deal with that truth defines who you are. Are you going to be threatened by it and put up a mean girl wall? Or, are you going to embrace people for their differences, talents and intelligence and grow some in the process?
Here’s another truth for you: Being a mean girl is the same thing as being a bully.
I don’t know how or why mean girls think their behavior is acceptable. Maybe because they’ve always gotten away with it. Maybe because they think that’s how the world works. Maybe they’re spoiled rotten. Maybe they just need to grow up.
As a woman and a professor, I’m just plain disappointed. I can’t seem to understand the passive-aggressive pettiness I’m seeing and have been seeing (and experiencing) for YEARS. I usually ignore it, but recently, the straw done broke this camel’s back, and it’s time to take a stand. I’m not going to put up with it anymore, and when I see it, I’ll call people out on it. Don't bring it into my classroom, don't bring it into my school. There is absolutely no reason to not be nice to other people. You aren’t helping yourselves, and one day you are going to have a very rude awakening. Listen, being a bitch may be easy, but it doesn’t pay off.
Just think about it.
Is the helicopter mom way of apologizing baking cookies? Or is she trying to poison me?
BREATHE, Cynthia. Keep it together. Do not yell at the helicopter mom. She doesn’t understand that it is just a kids’ volleyball game. She doesn’t understand that you’re merely volunteering your time. She doesn’t get that it is okay for her kid to not be the best. She’s a helicopter mom. Get her to calm down and sneak her a Xanax.
I’m not doing this nonsense again next season.
Deep Breath. Walk Away.
I’ve been trying to find a relationship for a while. But for now, I’m giving up. I’m burned out, and I’m beginning to think that there isn’t anyone out there for me. Lord knows I’ve tried. In fact, I've tried almost everything: blind dates, online dating, speed dating, clubs, the gym, church, what-have-you. I need to take a break and get back to my happy place. Turning into a Bitter Betty won't help anything. So, break on 3.
1 - 2 - ooohh... he's cute... wait.... 3!
Recently, Forbes.com listed America’s top 5 fastest roads, and guess what… one in OKC was on the list. It was a really interesting article, but I have one problem with it: they didn’t dig into WHY people sped on these roads. Before I get into that, here are the deets on how they determined the fastest. Forbes first looked for “stretches of roadway where motorists routinely floor it, then it found the speed range at which each roadway’s fastest 5% of drivers travel.” They then “multiplied that figure by the length of each road to decide the final ranking.” I know, there’s math, but you can keep reading, it’ll get easier. The result was a list of roads where “drivers put the pedal to the metal over fairly long distances.” Okay, now that I’ve fried all your brains with that crazy thing called math, here are the 5 fastest roads in America:
5. Arizona State Rte 77 - Heading N out of Tucson up the AZ-76/Redington Road near San Manuel Airport
Average speed of fastest 5%: 81 mph
Top speed clocked by INRIX: 81 mph
Length of corridor: 4.8 miles
4. Eastbound MI-5 Michigan Hwy - Heading into Detroit from the I-275/I-96 interchange to Telegraph Rd
Average speed of fastest 5%: 81 mph
Top speed clocked by INRIX: 83 mph
Length of corridor: 4.9 miles
3. California State Route 73 - In both directions between Moulton Parkway and Bear Street
Average speed of fastest 5%: 81 mph
Top speed clocked by INRIX: 85 mph
Length of corridor: 14.8 miles
2. Oklahoma State Highway 33 - In both directions just Northwest of Oklahoma City
Average speed of fastest 5%: 83 mph
Top speed clocked by INRIX: 87 mph
Length of corridor: 24 miles
1. Northbound Arizona State Route 79 - Between Saguaro National Park and Phoenix
Average speed of fastest 5%: 88 mph
Top speed clocked by INRIX: 94 mph
Length of corridor: 17.6 miles
I don’t know if we should be proud or ashamed that we’re clocked in at #2. On one hand, we should never drive recklessly. On the other hand, some of the greatest fried chicken to ever grace the planet is on the other end of that road.
This may be over-simplified, but Eischen’s the reason why we drive 87 mph. The chicken is divine… it’s the Oklahoma ambrosia of the Gods. It’s so good that people don’t care that they only take cash. It’s so good that women are willing to forget their diets for the night. It’s so good that people are willing to risk major fines for speeding.
Seriously, y’all, this fried chicken is amazing. The chicken here has been described as “the best fried chicken I've ever had,” “freaking AWESOME!!” “Delicious. Never have I had such juicy, flavorful, crisp, melt in your mouth chicken as I did here.” I’m not making these up. I could, but I don’t need to. It has been featured on the Food Network’s Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives, and Guy Fieri practically drooled over it. Granted, with the outfits he wears, I question his taste in general, but he isn’t wrong in this case. Eischen’s is a mecca of fried-chicken awesomeness.
Here’s the best review of Eischen’s I could find: ”Eischen's Bar is the perfect place to unwind and soak in the Oklahoma glory. The ride to the small town of Okarche yields abandoned buildings along the highway, cows standing in groups in the shade, and a cowboy couple riding their trusty steeds in the late sunlight. Yee haw! Eischen’s is the cherry on the Midwestern sundae, the creme de la creme of the red dirt state, the de facto standard of all bars Oklahoman.“
Oklahoma City loves Eischen’s, and we’re willing to risk it for the juicy goodness. Now, I can’t tell you why the other locations were listed, but I can guess. More than likely, the locals know there’s a great local restaurant on the other end and have to hurry before all the tables are gone.
Really, Forbes, I expected more of you. As I would tell my students, “You need to dig a little deeper, you’re just skimming the top of the story.”
Great, I’m craving the finger-licking goodness. There goes my diet.
I saw this jacket and decided I had to have it. It looks really good, it fits, and it was only $32.
I think I'll call that a win.http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog_name=FOREVER21&category_name=backinstock&product_id=2082875931&Page=all#
Just heard: "I love Angela Lansbury. She’s a sexy old broad."
As you may or may not know, my alma mater, my home and my friends in Tuscaloosa were hit by a massive tornado. I have friends that lost everything, but have their lives. As my friend, Alexa (whose house was pummeled by the tornado), says "If it doesn't bleed it doesn't matter." The people of Tuscaloosa have been so resilient during this tragedy, and need help recovering.
My students at Oklahoma State saw the impact of this tornado. Many of them remember the May 3rd tornado in Oklahoma City and wanted to help. So, they started a donations drive at OSU. This alone humbled me. Then, to top it off, I've had students volunteer to drive down with me to work in Ttown for a week. Which just floored me. Have I mentioned that my students are awesome? Because, yeah, they totally are. In the past week, we've had so many blessings heaped on this trip. God is truly amazing. However, all the costs are currently coming out of my pocket, and I need some help. Even with the donations that we've received, I'm estimating that this week-long trip will cost roughly $1200. Although I am more than happy to foot whatever bills are needed to help my friends out, I can't do it alone.
If you are willing to donate to help us get there, I would really appreciate it. If you have 5 cents, $5 dollars or $500, we'll take it. Any and all money that received from this will only be used to foot the bill of this trip. If there is any money left over, it will be given to the Salvation Army of Tuscaloosa, whose building was destroyed in the tornado. (You can see the PSA that my friend MK did for the Salvation Army below.)
Mall? What mall? I'm slightly obsessed with ideeli. You should be too. http://www.ideeli.com/invite/Matatagirl